How to Stop Engaging in Worry Loops

Struggling with the load of life's daily grind is no stranger to the high-flying professionals among us. But what if I told you there's a simple, yet profound strategy to turn that stress into a stepping stone for success? As your coach and confidant, I, Lisa Jeffs, dive into the transformative power of the mantra "who cares" — not as an expression of indifference, but as a beacon of resilience. This episode is all about shaking the weight off your shoulders, envisioning a world where catastrophizing bows down to a life of grace, ease, and excitement for the new day ahead.

Chapters

• 0:00 Tempo: 120.0

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Do you ever feel like things are just harder than they need to be? They seem really heavy, seems like you're carrying a backpack full of bricks on your back. Maybe it feels like you're sinking into quicksand. Well, if so, I want you to stick around, because we're going to be going through a very simple strategy to help you navigate feelings like this, so you can begin to wake up excited about your day, excited about what you're creating, welcoming in a whole new way of being and thus a whole new level of results. Stick around, it's going to be a good one. Let's get started.

Speaker 2: 0:51

You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast, your premier destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self-doubt, sabotage and burnout. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 1: 1:16

So the clientele that I work with typically are very intellectual, they're very smart, they're in their head a lot, they have a lot of things going on and when this happens, often they can live a very intensified life, whereas everything is just very intense for lack of a better word and it can become exhausting after a while. So there are some clients that I work with that have a tendency to catastrophize, and if you're familiar with catastrophizing, this can look like getting a message or getting a notification or getting some kind of you know information, and your brain immediately goes to the worst case scenario and you can start feeling very stressed out and going into all these worrisome directions. I know for myself catastrophizing has been a pattern that I've really had to do some work and healing around, and you may need support with this. Some of these cognitive distortions are ones that we can be successful working through on our own, and sometimes you need support. A lot of them are based in past experiences, past trauma. But, needless to say, let's go back to the main topic, which is what do you do with this? With this, let's say that you are someone who it's every little thing that happens, every bump in your business or in your work environment. If you get a comment or some feedback from someone, do you go into worst case scenario? Does it feel like your entire world has blown up? If you have challenges with your money or with your relationships, is it the end of the world? Okay, and if it is, that's okay. But I'm going to give you a strategy to help you navigate this and it's going to take some practice, but once you do it and get a hang of it, it really allows you to lighten up, to lighten the load and move through your world and the world with so much more grace and ease and enjoyment.

Speaker 1: 4:07

So, again, these patterns are very typical for the type A right. If you know, most of my clients are leaders. They can be very type A and again there's this intensified way of being, that very intensified way of being that you know I can laugh about it because I've been in it for many years and I've gone through waves where it comes in a little bit more extreme than other times, but being on the other side of it and it doesn't mean that I never fall into these patterns, because I sometimes do However, I can navigate out of it a lot quicker and it's going to be funny when I tell you the strategy, but the strategy is you know when and when something happens, I want you to adopt the saying of who cares, who cares of who cares, who cares? Oh, this is happening, oh, this is a problem. Who cares? And not in a form of who cares, I don't care, deal with it yourself. But in the form of who cares Not a big deal, I'll handle it or who cares, I'm not even going to engage with it. I'm not even going to engage my mind in those worry loops. I'm not even going to reinforce the thought patterns that go into worst case scenarios who cares?

Speaker 1: 5:46

Great, you know, the first time I heard this, there was someone talking about debt and they were really, really worried about their debt and they were obsessing about it to the point where it was front of mind. And now our society is going to tell you that, oh well, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe it's a good thing that you're, you know, concerned about it. However, the laws of the universe, when you are focused on something, it is going to expand. When you are worrying about something, you are sending out your frequencies and they are pulling back in calling back that same situation or different situations to worry about and giving some guidance to this individual around their debt. Their path forward was who cares? Don't even worry about it. Don't even think about it, because if the debt wasn't there, you wouldn't be thinking about it because it wouldn't be there Now. That doesn't mean ignore it and don't pay your bills and don't have the intention of becoming financially free, but we don't want to give it the energy and the worry and the stress which is very much a pattern of collective consciousness In my life.

Speaker 1: 7:33

I am very secluded in the sense of the people that I surround myself with and have conversations with on a regular basis do not speak of worry and what they're stressed about and they don't complain. Now, this isn't to say that they don't express their feelings and their emotions, but it is not a complain worry fest and it's not to say that if you find yourself complaining a lot and worrying a lot, that there's anything wrong with you. Most likely you've fallen into a habit and a way of being. And if you're around the majority of people in this in North America, then you're going to be listening and accustomed to a lot of complaining and a lot of people in this in North America, then you're going to be listening and accustomed to a lot of complaining and a lot of people having these conversations, because it just is within the collective. You know, when I look back and when I get a Facebook memory from 10, 15 years ago maybe not 10 years ago, like 15 years ago I am shocked.

Speaker 1: 8:49

I'm like wow, and I really considered myself to be a pretty positive person and I was a pretty positive person, but I still would have this thread of complaining and focus on the things that I didn't like or that were going wrong. And I want you just to look at, take the emotion out of it and just simply see it as energy. Where's my energy going? Where's my focus going? Is my focus on all the things that I'm scared about? Is my focus on worrying about all the things that could go wrong? Who cares? Who cares about all those things?

Speaker 1: 9:33

You will deal with it. If it happens, you can navigate challenges. Majority of the things that you're worrying about are not going to happen and if they do happen, you'll deal with it and it won't be that big of a deal. The most challenging thing is living day to day in fear and worry and what ifs and what if this goes wrong? And what if I put this out and someone judges me? And what if I say no, and these people don't like me or think I'm a bitch or a whatever. That is the hardest thing to navigate. It's heavy, it feels like a backpack full of bricks and you don't really notice it until you're out of it. You don't really notice that way of being until you're on the other side and then you're like until you're on the other side and then you're like wow, how was I dealing with that? Every day, you know, when I go out and I have certain conversations with people outside of, you know the bubble that I've cultivated. Sometimes it's shocking and it's shocking to see what we've created as a society as being normal, like a normal way of being, a normal way of seeing the world's. No, I'm careful with using those words, because it's not about a hierarchy and it's really not about being righteous. It's seeing the world in a sense of.

Speaker 1: 11:28

I don't believe that we need to. This is my beliefs. I don't believe that we need to work hard to become something, to become this amazing person, to become successful, to become all these things. I believe we already are. We are already whole. We are already full. We are already more incredible and just almost not almost we are mind-blowing. If we really look at what a human being is Absolutely mind-blowing. Absolutely mind-blowing how our body functions the way it does. Mind-blowing how our body functions the way it does, the things that our mind can come up with, our imagination can come up with. It is absolutely mind-blowing what to worry about and how to be careful and how to protect yourself, because the world is a scary, scary place, which it's not and I don't believe it is, but this can be a belief system that's instilled in us from a very young age. So I want you to practice this. When something happens, when you get a message or notification or something that typically would send you down into a spiral and a black hole and worrying and thinking and all these things, I want you just to say who cares, who cares Big deal, I'll deal with it. Or just say who cares and move forward.

Speaker 1: 13:14

Move on, focusing in on what you're creating, what you want to do, what you're calling in your vision. This is why having a vision is so, so important, and it's one of the most resisted things when I'm working with clients one-on-one, crafting a vision, and the vision doesn't have to be super specific. It can be, it doesn't have to be. But even in a broad sense of a vision, people will resist it. But it is so powerful to have a vision to pull you forward, to be your North Star, to allow you to see and allow you to craft that next level version of yourself. And the sooner that you can fully embody that next level version of yourself, that vision will come into the physical, that vision will manifest. But if your focus and your thoughts are constantly going to worry or distraction or all the things that could go wrong, then you're just creating more of that and it's exhausting. It's absolutely exhausting and it doesn't need to be this way. It doesn't need to be this way. If you are resonant with my content, then I already know that you're brilliant. I already know that you have a brilliant, brilliant mind. You're very smart, you're very creative and all that energy you're putting towards these things that you don't want, you can be directing them to what you do want. Imagine how much faster things are going to start appearing in your life, things that you want. All the magic, all the magic.

Speaker 1: 15:21

I'm going to wrap this up with one last story. This was a time period right after my father passed away. It was about a year, I would say. I remember being on the subway and it was about a year to the date that he passed and I could feel the energy. I could feel his energy. It was very visceral in my body and it was a message of your grieving has ended not that it ever ends fully, but the deep grief I was in was ending and it was time to move forward.

Speaker 1: 15:54

It was time to move forward and start my life and for about a year after that, I was very focused on gratitude, maintaining a thought pattern of excitement and anticipation for what I was creating. And that year was the first time I experienced synchronicities on Supercharge. I mean, there was so many things flowing into my life. I can't even tell you how many contests I won. I remember winning this contest in the newspaper, so I'm aging myself a bit, but yes, it was in a newspaper and I won this contest, this first place contest. I remember we got hotel tickets and dinner tickets and all these things. It was for a Mother's Day contest and I had never won anything before and it would just created this ripple effect.

Speaker 1: 16:59

Now, mind you, I did fall into a darker place after that year. I didn't maintain that energy, but that again shows you what you focus on is going to expand. So this is really a message to practice the consistency of focusing on what you desire and allowing this momentum of things just getting better and better to happen and really not engaging in the thought patterns that you don't want to grow, because what you focus on is going to grow, it's going to expand. So focus in on what you are calling into your life all the wonder, all the joy, and who cares about the other stuff? You'll deal with it. You'll handle it. It can be a lot easier than your brain wants to make it out to be.

Speaker 1: 17:59

I hope this was helpful. If you're still with me, I honor you. I appreciate you. Thank you for your time. I hope this was of value. Shoot me a DM. I love getting messages. If you have questions that you want me to answer, shoot me a DM. Send me an email at info at lisajeffscom. I'd love to answer your question on a podcast. As always, I honor you and let's stay connected.

Speaker 2: 18:31

Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast. Lisa Jeffs is committed to helping you break through barriers and climb to new professional heights. If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could subscribe, rate and leave a review To stay updated with practical tips and insights, follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook. You'll find all relevant links, including those for our complimentary gifts and trainings, in the show notes. Until our next episode, embrace your confidence and stay connected.