Mastering the Art of Presence To Seal Every Deal

What if mastering the art of being fully present could be the secret to your professional success? Join me, Lisa Jeffs, on the Confident, Connected Leader podcast as we uncover the transformative power of presence in meetings, interviews, and sales calls. This episode will provide you with key strategies to project confidence and charisma, ensuring you leave a lasting impression and achieve your desired outcomes. By embracing these techniques, you can shift your relationships and interactions in meaningful ways.

PDF MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE

Chapters

• 0:00 Mastering Presence for Professional Success
• 12:01 Mastering Presence and Active Listening
• 19:38 Mastering Present and Confident Communication

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader podcast, your premier destination for breaking through your current professional barriers. Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend limitations and achieve new levels of professional success beyond self-doubt, sabotage and burnout. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show.

Speaker 2: 0:25

Welcome to the show. This podcast episode is tied to a PDF that you either found this podcast in or, if you're listening to this podcast directly, you can find the PDF in the show notes. But the PDF is five strategies to show up in your meetings with confidence and charisma and make the sale, sell people on you, sell people on your ideas, even if you're doubting yourself. So in that PDF there are different ways that you can present yourself that have been researched to show that when a person does this, it sends a cue to the other person's brain and gives them the cue that you are confident or charismatic. And when a person is confident and charismatic of course we respond positively to that can radically change all the results that you're experiencing and how. When you can master the art of being present, how your relationships will just absolutely do a 180 in the right way. 180 in the right way.

Speaker 2: 2:13

If you are Canadian, you may recognize this name Dini Petty. Dini Petty is a Canadian icon. I remember her growing up when I grew up in the 80s. She has done TV and radio for years. She's now a speaker. She's an author.

Speaker 2: 2:41

Deanie Petty has done, I think, over 20,000 interviews with people, celebrities. A couple of weeks ago, dini Petty shared that she remembers one interview out of mind you over 20,000, where that person was fully present with her and she remembers to this day, okay, decades later, the feeling she had from that interview, that meeting. This is the power of presence Most people are not present, most people, when you are having a conversation with them, are not fully present with you. When you are fully present with someone, or someone is fully present with you, you feel it. It is. I don't even know what the word is, I can't even think of how impactful it can be. Okay, so when we are thinking about how can I really start to master these, whether it's meetings, it's interviews, it's sales calls how can I be the one that and I don't want to make this seem we're acting or we're trying to convolute something, or we're trying to manipulate something to where we're like the sought after one. After that, I genuinely want to help you to show up as your best self, the fullness of you, and really make that impact, that lasting impression, to where either you're getting the sale and I mean that in a genuine way, like you're able to enroll someone into whatever you're selling or you're getting the opportunity.

Speaker 2: 4:44

I can't tell you how many times, because there's more than one time where I when I was going to interviews. So this is when, before I had my business, I would go to do an interview and I typically did fairly well because I was putting an effort to show up in these interviews and I would. They would say we're interviewing this many people. If you're chosen, you can come. We'll reach out in a couple of weeks, whatever the spiel was, and I would thank them and I would head out and I would feel really good about the interview. And then I wouldn't even reach home yet and I would get a call and they would be offering me the position.

Speaker 2: 5:29

And I knew this because of the impact I made in that interview. Yes, I was qualified. Yes, I was. I know I'm great at what I do. I'm confident in that manner because I put a lot of work into what I do. But there's also other people that are very capable. I wasn't the only capable one, but I knew I made a significant impact because of how I showed up in that interview, because I was confident, I knew I had charisma and I was present, which made an impact.

Speaker 2: 6:14

When you are fully present, you can feel the shift in someone Like they feel heard and listened to. And most people that I've talked to they don't feel very listened to and heard by a lot of people in their life, not because people in their life don't care about them, but because we are such a distracted society and we have not been taught these skills of being present. So let's get into this, because when you can master this skill, you will shift everything in your life. So what does presence really mean? Maybe this is going to be helpful if I share with you what it doesn't mean. So I can think of two sales conversations that I had where people had approached me to sell what they were selling, and one of them I wasn't interested in anyways, but one of them I was interested, but because the person wasn't present and listening to what I was saying, I lost trust in that person offering it. So what happened was and I'm sure you can relate to this, I'm sure you've experienced it If you're having these conversations and you're sharing something that's concerning to you or a worry, and the person brushes over it, it's yes, my stuff is so great and it's going to solve all your problems, type of thing, and you did you not hear what I just shared?

Speaker 2: 7:57

Like you, you genuinely don't feel like you, you've been hurt at all whatsoever. And this immediately breaks trust. If you can think about a partnership, if you've been in a partnership where you're sharing something and maybe it's a heated argument or heated conversation and you share something and the person just runs in with what they're saying. They're not listening to truly hear what you're saying. They are listening to respond and that's really what being present is not. It's not listening to respond and again, it doesn't mean you're a bad person if you do this. Part of it is out of habit, because we've been conditioned as a society to do this. Part of it is out of habit because we've been conditioned as a society to do this, to really think about how am I going to respond. Again, healthy communication skills are not something that are typically and the more advanced communication skills are not taught in school and if we're not taught by our parents which a lot of us adults right now we don't have, so we don't have those skills. So it's up to us to build those skills ourselves.

Speaker 2: 9:15

If you're worried about how you're going to be responding and, of course, if you're going into an important meeting or you're having whatever it is conversation that's important. You may be worried, you may be in your head, you may be concerned about sounding silly or saying the wrong thing, or you may be concerned you want to sound really smart or really put together. All these things can take us away from being present and put us in our head, okay, overthinking or trying to act. So if you have access to the PDF and if you're listening to this right after this podcast was posted and you don't have the PDF, and if you're listening to this right after this podcast was posted and you don't have the PDF, give it a few days, because we will need a few days to post the link to the show notes. Just an FYI. But if you're looking at the strategies in this PDF, this is not to show up in a meeting and start worrying and feeling like you have to put all these five strategies in place and you feel like you're acting and you feel really awkward and weird.

Speaker 2: 10:26

I can tell you one thing the worst interview I've ever done, the absolute worst one, was when I had a position offered to me at my daughter's school. My daughter was in grade. I'm not sure what grade she was in. She was in elementary school, so probably grade three or something like that, and I really wanted to be at that school. I really wanted to be working at that school. It was close to home, it had all these great pieces. I was like wow. And so I was really attached to the outcome of that getting that position and because of that I was so in my head that I'm still can feel the cringe of how poorly that interview went. I wasn't answering questions, well, I was stumbling over my words, I was frazzled. Funny enough, I am fairly. I really believe in excellence, and even more so at that time. So I was always on time for things, and which I still am, but I was very. I would always get there 25 minutes early so I could prep this and do this, and that everything just seemed to go wrong in that interview. I got stuck in traffic, it was late, I was just a hot mess express in that interview because I was so attached to the outcome. I wasn't myself, I wasn't being present, I was just weird and trying to put on this thing, this act, almost.

Speaker 2: 12:01

So if, going back to the PDF, this is for you to learn skills and to input. Learn one of the skills. First, practice it. Practice it in your life. It's not. These strategies aren't to just seal the deal and be the one who's the most sought after. It's really to shift the way you do business. You show up as a leader and it's going to have a extreme ripple effect on all of your life. Even if you go to the grocery store and you're having a conversation with the cashier, being present with them can leave a lasting impression that has a positive ripple effect on your life. This is how powerful it is. So we know what it's not. It's not listening to respond. So, again, being present is you know, if you can do this one thing, if you can learn this one skill, everything else just becomes easier.

Speaker 2: 13:16

One of the strategies in the PDF is leaning in. You want to lean in. This sends a subconscious cue to the other person that you're engaged, you're interested, you want to hear more of what they're saying, that you're in the conversation, and this sends a very positive cue. When you are present and practicing active listening, you will do this naturally, because if you're not, if you're leaning back, it actually feels weird. When someone is sharing something or you're sharing something, you will naturally do these things. So keeping that top of mind, that practicing being present, will aid in all the other strategies falling into place.

Speaker 2: 14:05

So what can get in the way of this also is and this is the deeper work. So if you really want to master these skills, working with what I work with my clients we do the deeper work that sometimes is necessary. A lot of times is necessary Because if we have a big fear about how we're showing up or if we are self-conscious about certain aspects of ourselves, this can hinder us, put us in our head and have us not have the ability to be fully present, because to be fully present you really have to have a certain level of confidence in yourself and a high level of self-esteem enough to get out of your head. And sometimes this requires that deeper work. A lot of times it requires a deeper work to really help shift if there's any past traumas or if we need to shift beliefs. We need to do belief work about ourselves, about our abilities, what we have to offer.

Speaker 2: 15:20

Another thing that really gets in the way of this is if you put people on pedestals, so if you think just because someone has a certain position in an organization, or if you look at them a certain way, say wow, they're put together and they appear so confident. If you somehow think that you're less than, this can totally throw you off. So coaching a lot of times will. My coaching always pinpoints what exactly is needed. What do we need to focus on so you can show up in this meeting whether you're the one holding the meeting or you are a guest in the meeting as your most confident, self-assured self, because it gets a lot easier to practice being present when you are fully confident and self-assured. I'm sure you can relate this to if you have a romantic relationship and you've been in one where it wasn't about fully listening to the person. You just wanted to drive your point across. Romantic relationships always bring out our wounding right. They are great mirrors for our wounding and when we have wounding in place, this could throw us off. So this is the deeper work and if you really want to master and you really want to excel in this area, get some coaching. If you'd like to speak to me about coaching, you can book a breakthrough call and we'll have a conversation to see if it's a fit. But okay, let's get into what is actually going to help you to be present Because, again, it's a practice.

Speaker 2: 17:06

This is not a if you have challenges being present, this is going to take some work. I am fairly good at being present and I believe it's because I meant to do this work right. So, as a coach, you really have to be present. As a coach, if you're not present and I have worked with coaches who haven't been present it's not good. You need to hear your client. You need to be able to fully understand what they are saying, even beyond the words that they are saying. Right, being able to understand if they're saying one thing, but their facial expressions are giving you a different energy. If they're saying and this is true for anybody if someone's saying they're fine or they're okay with this, but they suddenly look stressed out or worried. Or, for me, I'm always looking at my client's body language when they're feeling stressed, because it gives you the whole picture.

Speaker 2: 18:23

And if you were in a meeting, let's say, and someone is sharing something with you and they're saying one thing but they're doing something else with their body one thing but they're doing something else with their body and you are fully present to recognize that. And then you say something like Janet, I hear that you're saying this, but I'm noticing you put your hand up to your shoulder and you're looking a little stressed when you said that Is there something else that you can share with me? Is there something else going on? And obviously, what's the time or place? You're not going to say that in every meeting. There's a time and place where that would be appropriate and where it would not be appropriate to bring that to the person's attention. That's a whole different conversation. But imagine how felt that person would feel, how heard and seen that person would feel. That leaves a lasting impression on them of you a positive, warm, caring, yet confident and charismatic impression.

Speaker 2: 19:38

Because to call something like that out, you also have to have a lot of confidence, because that other person can lash out potentially and say, no, I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me. And for you to be fully present and confident, you really have to have that grounded confidence. And so that is one of the first steps to be fully present with someone, you want to be grounded, you want to be energetically grounded. This is literally going outside and grounding yourself. So if you're familiar with grounding, it allows our energetic body to be in our body and not spaced out. So I need grounding constantly because I can be very outside of my body. So this is going and putting your feet on the grass. This is doing a five minute grounding meditation on YouTube. This is using a grounding mat.

Speaker 2: 20:53

Call your name. So my name is Lisa Marie Jeffs. I would call my name Lisa Marie Jeffs. I'm calling you back in. I'm calling you back in my body. Do that right now and see if you feel a shift in your energetic body. Depends on how sensitive you are to energy, but you really need to be grounded. That's a practical step. And if you don't understand when I say grounded, give it a quick Google to know what grounding is. But you want to be grounded. You also want to be and again this is the deeper work emotionally grounded, emotionally resilient. Have that emotional intelligence of yourself and of the other person. But right now we're talking about you.

Speaker 2: 21:45

So to be fully present, you have to understand what triggers you, what may trigger you. So if a person is, let's say, giving you cues that they're not really listening or they're're not that engaged or they're not that interested in what you're saying, can you still be calm, cool, collected, confident, leaning forward, present with them, or are you going to get triggered. And again, like I said, this is a mastery. This is a mastery practice. If you are really serious about being the leader, the business leader, the professional, whatever your capacity is, and you want to be the absolute best, you can be fulfilling your full potential, making an impact, shifting people's lives. It really is a mastery. So it's can you be fully present and hear what the person is saying and respond to what they are saying, even when you are triggered, and not go into your triggered wounding reaction? Right, it's being able being fully present, it's being able to respond and not react. Imagine the shift you're going to have on that person, whether you're doing sales calls. Imagine if you were present and listening to the other person, listening to their concerns.

Speaker 2: 23:37

One of the reasons I do so well with sales and with enrolling people is because I'm genuinely there with that person, caring about them. I'm not there to make a sale. I'm there to help the person solve a problem and people feel that. People feel when you are genuinely there to solve whatever problem it is. Whether you are selling your idea in a meeting, are you just trying to sell your idea, are you genuinely trying to see if your idea is the answer and being able to push the ego aside while you are in that space. Now, this is very applicable, let's say, to romantic relationships, and this is one area. I'm still working on this myself, because it can be really challenging to push the ego aside and be fully there. And okay, I'm not here to react with old wounding and old stories. I'm here to respond, man. I got tell you I really wanna drive in this point that when you can work on this and you can master this, you will shift your entire work, business, whatever it is trajectory, and thus it is gonna have a ripple effect on every area of your life.

Speaker 2: 25:25

How do you want the person to feel when they're done in that conversation, whatever meaning it is? How do you want that person to feel? Think about that before you go in. Think about that before you go in. Have that in mind. Do you want them to feel listened to? Do you want them to be? Do you want to leave the impression that you were there, truly listening to them? What is important for you? Get clear on that.

Speaker 2: 25:58

I'm going to leave you with some practical steps again to be how to be present in these situations, or rather, how to practice it, because it really is a practice. So some practical ways Beforehand. You're grounding, you can practice some breathing exercises or put on a mindfulness meditation and just practice being centered. If you're anxious, you want to do some breathing, put your hand on your heart, just breathe deeply for five minutes. It doesn't have to be anything super fancy, it can be, but it doesn't have to be. Just get centered, relax, detach from the outcome. Think about my story of going into the school that my daughter was at Just detach. That's another reason I've done so well in meetings and certain aspects like that interviews I should say is because I was totally detached from the outcome.

Speaker 2: 27:09

Manage your distractions Okay. Turn off your phone. Make sure notifications are off. They're not popping in. I can't tell you how many meetings I've been in and a person is checking their phone and things are going off. When you are speaking with someone think about a loved one or friend you're telling a story to and their phone is going off. They're picking up their phone. They're looking at their phone. They're talking to you or they're hearing. They're like I'm hearing you, but they're not even looking at you. Don't do that. Okay, I don't care how many people are doing that. Put it away. Put the phone away, put the distractions away.

Speaker 2: 27:58

Even if you're in a meeting with a group of people, if you're the one who is sitting there demonstrating active listening, so all distractions are off, they're not around you. You are leaning in. You are making eye contact okay, this is active listening. You are making eye contact, listening. You are making eye contact. You are nodding okay, shows that you are listening. You are encouraging that person to speak more. You are going to stand out above all, hands down just by doing those things, okay. So this is how you practice. You put the distractions away, every single one. I don't care if everyone in that room has it. I don't even care if the person speaking has a computer in front of them, their phone papers, all this mess. You clear that area.

Speaker 2: 28:57

This is also in the PDF. It's called being open. You want your torso and your space to be open, free of distractions. Don't even put your glass of water in front of you. Move it away, so you're fully open. Make eye contact really important if you feel awkward or weird. Making eye contact with people. Practice on people where it's not as important, if you go to the grocery store, or if you go to the bank or you go somewhere. Practice making eye contact when you're talking or when someone else is talking at those places. And I get it because, as confident and self-assured as I am in situations, I can also be the total flip side and I can go into my very awkward, weird, quirky and not looking or feeling confident at Okay, prepare, get into the zone where you feel prepared for the meeting so you're not thinking of oh my God, I don't have my notes, what am I doing?

Speaker 2: 30:21

Everything is a mess and there is such thing as over-preparing, to where you're so attached to doing it a certain way so you don't wanna be prepared and attached to anything, but just prepared so you feel confident. Know where your things are If there are points that you wanna bring up. Know where it is right. Again, you don't want things in front of you, but have, if you have a notebook to your side, have bullet points that have certain points there If you need to color code certain things. So everything is organized.

Speaker 2: 31:00

Because as soon as you start getting in your head being like, where is this, where's that, I don't know where this is, you're thrown off, you're not present. You're not present anymore. Okay, and again, I'm going to leave you with this. This is a practice. This is a practice. It grows and it expands. Have compassion with yourself. It's fairly easy for me to do this, but even still I need to practice at it. I need to make sure I'm continually practicing being present, so giving yourself grace and compassion.

Speaker 2: 31:42

If it's not easy for you, I recommend practicing loved ones, and you can even say to your loved one hey, I'm practicing being present in conversations. Can we talk about something and I'm just you don't wanna practice it? So they know that you are practicing and they don't feel like they're being duped into conversations and see where your mind goes. Is your mind going to different things that you wanna respond with, or is it actually being able to be with that person? Okay, if you wanna go deeper on this or you really wanna master internally feeling confident, self-assured, like you can master any meaning that you're in and make a wildly good impression, then book a breakthrough call and we can talk about coaching and if it's in your best interest to support you with that journey, I would highly recommend, even if you're fairly good in this area, but you know there's a little bit of a gap that you wanna close. Often we can get in our own way or we have blind spots and coaching is going to help to close that gap. Okay, I'm going to sign off.

Speaker 2: 33:11

Let me know if this was interesting. Do you want me to go into more conversations like this? I would love to know. Send me a message. You can now message me directly. Send me a text message on if you're listening to this on the podcast website. You can do. If you are not listening to me on the podcast website, where you can send me a text message and let me know your thoughts, feelings. Send me a question which I can answer on the podcast. All right, thank you so much for being here If you're still listening. I appreciate you. I honor your time. I hope this was valuable and, as always, and leave a review To stay updated with practical tips and insights.

Speaker 1: 34:29

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