The Magnetic Leader

Awaken Your Creation Power: Thrive in a World That Thinks Your Dreams Are Crazy

• Lisa Jeffs • Season 3 • Episode 14

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Imagine transforming your life simply by changing how you speak to yourself. Meet Ashley, a former client who turned self-doubt into self-expression, growing into a successful social media entrepreneur. Her inspiring journey from battling low self-esteem at Ryerson to thriving personally and professionally reveals the power of belief work and a supportive coach. Ashley shares how shifting her self-worth and financial beliefs opened doors—even amid the pandemic—leading her to leave a toxic relationship and align with her aspirations.

Together, we discuss finding confidence, embracing intuition, and prioritizing self-love. Ashley’s story shows how investing in yourself and trusting your inner guidance can lead to profound transformation, inviting you to consider what’s truly meaningful in your own journey.



Ashley is a Toronto-based entrepreneur who’s turned her passion to use social media for good into a full-time business, helping brands showcase themselves online in a way that feels true and impactful. At 26, she’s living her dream of running her own business, built on self-love, belief in herself, and a commitment to pursuing her dreams.

Outside of her work, Ashley is dedicated to creating safe, supportive online spaces focused on self-love and mental health. Her self-love brand inspires others to see what’s possible for themselves and live life authentically. Follow her for insights on embracing self-love, mental well-being, and building a life true to you.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to this show, Ashley.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for having me so excited that you're here. I'm so excited too. This is my first time being a guest on a podcast, actually.

Speaker 1:

Ashley is a client of mine that I worked with it must have been at least six years ago.

Speaker 2:

Six years at least Six or seven years.

Speaker 1:

She's come so far. She has a social media marketing business now. That is absolutely outstanding. She's going to give you the information to check it out later. Ashley, from the journey when we first connected which I remember now was actually a call you had called me to learn about coaching remember you were in George Brown or Ryerson can't remember Ryerson, which I was also in Ryerson, I think you just googled life coaches in Toronto. I popped up and you're like let me email. I remember getting the email and say, yeah, of course, I'll let. Let you know what it's all about, what to expect, and we started chatting. I think it wasn't until maybe a year later that we connected again. Yeah, when you reached out, starting a new path in your life and you wanted some support, do you remember that you inquired at the time about, hey, I'm a CYW, which I was as well CYC, working in the school board, and you were interested in coaching. And that's how we first connected.

Speaker 2:

I forgot about that. But you're right, I was interested in learning from you about the job you're doing and then, yeah, it wasn't until a year're right, I was interested in learning from you about the job you're doing and then, yeah, it wasn't until a year later. I was like, oh, I need your support and creating like this big vision I had for my life. But that's how I found you. I just googled life coaches in Toronto. It's so funny like you're the only one I ever talked to as well. It was like we were meant to connect. I felt like I could immediately trust you.

Speaker 2:

At that point I was being very ambitious, going after goals, really trying to start changing my life. When I started doing that, I felt a little bit alone in this mindset I had, or vision I had for my life. When I talked to you about these ideas, my thought processes, the way I viewed life, it was like you understood it. I was like this is so nice, because everyone else was like this girl's kind of crazy. First thing I noticed was, wow, I'm not crazy. All these things that I'm dreaming of and wanting for my life are possible of and wanting for my life are possible. And that was so beautiful to just feel seen and to not feel alone in that big vision and action I was taking in my life. It was so nice to talk to you about.

Speaker 1:

What's impressive about your story is how old 20 when this kind of started to rile up inside of me.

Speaker 2:

I was reflecting on it and I think a big part of it was being in a new environment, being in the city, no one knowing me, and being in an environment where I could finally be in my own thoughts, be my own person and have my own ideologies. For once, I can create and do what I want in my life. You're in a different environment. You're in school settings. I was in a home environment that was really tough and I developed a lot of negative self-talk in that environment. Being outside of an environment, that was really hard for me. I just felt, wow, I can create a new future for myself. I actually have the power to do that. I was struggling so much with my mental health, feeling so unhappy and had such low self-esteem, which didn't feel good. It felt so heavy and so sad. I just want to feel happy. That was my thought. I just want to feel happy. And I, from there, started to think of okay, what can I do to make myself feel happy?

Speaker 2:

At 19 years old, I moved out. I was in my first year of university, living in dorm rooms and in a toxic relationship. I think that was one of the first big decisions I made to leave that relationship. Another big decision I made at 19 was to stop partying and stop seeing these friends that were also partying. I remember those are two big decisions because I was looking at what is making me really unhappy right now, and those were two big things. I was finally in an environment where I had control over my life.

Speaker 2:

I don't think many people have that realization that you can be a creator of your life. I'm so grateful I had that realization that I could change how I was feeling and create a new future for myself. I felt driven by that thought of I just want to feel happy. I want to live a life that makes me happy. Another part of why I really wanted to be happy and what planted the seed that I could be happy was actually on social media, following a lot of people that were living lives that seemed happy and they were running their businesses. That gave me some inspiration. Other people are doing that. I could do that too. I think that also really helped me.

Speaker 1:

Seeing that example, can we go back to something you said? I think it's really helpful when we can share how, as leaders, we have gone through a lot of growth to work through mindset gremlins and internal barriers, we get to this place where not everyone is yet. You mentioned the self-esteem part and this is huge because when I'm working with entrepreneurs or leaders at different ages, some of them have confidence. One of the things I love to explain is that confidence and self-esteem often they're joined into the same thing, but they're actually very different. They're very different concepts. Can you share a little bit about specific challenges?

Speaker 1:

One thing for me when I was going through my journey one of the big hurdles that once I worked through it, things really started shifting was tied to my self-esteem and tied to my self-image of growing up and always feeling just like I was never going to be one of those people. It was like our friend group, this is our path. We have this more challenging path, whereas I would see other people living this whole other life before my personal growth. It wouldn't connect. Do you remember when you were having those challenges with your self-esteem? Was there something you realized that a lot of people likely have challenges with?

Speaker 2:

So the question is what were some of my challenges around this?

Speaker 1:

Some of the ones that you have worked through, looking back at those beginning steps before you really dove into this work. Do you remember some of those things that you struggled with.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there's this moment when I was 19, in my dorm room. I remember the feeling and everything. It's something I come back to all the time that really paints the picture of how I was feeling internally. I remember I had got dressed up, I was going to go meet some friends. I remember looking in the mirror and I started to develop tears in my eyes. I felt so low about myself. I looked at myself and I felt so disappointed. It was such a heavy feeling. I viewed myself in such a heavy way. A big thing I struggled with was feeling like I was stupid. That was heavy on me.

Speaker 2:

And I think another big thing, and what ties with that, is my capabilities. Didn't think I was capable of excelling in life and I pursued. I viewed myself all the time as this person that wasn't good enough for anything in life. And I saw other people, people that get straight A's, teachers love I'm like, oh, these people, they're meant to do great things in life. Me, I'm just this person that's in the background.

Speaker 2:

I remember the feelings of not being smart enough, my voice not mattering which is funny because we're now here on a podcast that physically showed up in my life because I was the quietest person ever. There was nothing that would make me feel comfortable to speak. Sometimes I felt like crying if someone talked to me, because I always felt like people were criticizing me. If they spoke to me, me, if they spoke to me, I just didn't have a voice or self-expression, because I viewed my voice and my thoughts and who I was as not important, even if I have something to say someone else, what they have to say is probably way smarter, way more valuable. I think those are some big points.

Speaker 2:

And then, being being a woman someday I really had to deal with was accepting my appearance. For so long I didn't see myself as beautiful, which does affect your self-esteem and how you view yourself I. That was a huge part of my journey as well. Yeah, finding my self-esteem and self-worth, the whole comparison thing right, comparing yourself to other women and those are some really key things that I remember. It's funny looking back. I just remember being so quiet I think the best way to say it I was feeling like a mouse almost. It's so interesting to look now because I'm very goofy, silly, I'll sing outside. While I'm walking down the street, I listen to a song in love and just so free in my self-expression and my body. It's really cool to contrast to that 19-year-old who to cry when she would look at herself in the mirror can you share with everyone how old you are now, because this isn't a shift, that's.

Speaker 1:

I've had the pleasure of seeing you throughout the years and seeing how. I don't know if it feels like it's been quick for you, but but for me the shift has happened quite quickly. Can you share how old you are now? I'm 26.

Speaker 2:

And, yes, I reflect on that a lot. It does. In the moment, when you're growing and going through all this, it feels heavy. It feels like you're never going to have that breakthrough or the thing that you want, because you're working through so many emotions. But then I'm like here I am now to be able to experience that growth in almost less than five years.

Speaker 2:

That's such a short period of time to go from the place I came from to where I am now. It really does. It makes me teary-eyed. It's's a completely different place and it's really beautiful, like something that some people don't even get to experience in their whole lifetime. Some people struggle with these things for their whole life and I just feel so grateful that and that is such a short period of time to achieve like a change in my internal world, but also to achieve two big goals of when we work together my big. I had other visions too, but I think the two big visions for physical goals was to live on my own downtown Toronto and to work full time in my own business. Not even have my own business full time in it. Yes, so if I think about not only the internal changes but also the physical goals I've achieved in this time period. It's whoa, that's crazy.

Speaker 1:

Yes, like you are living in downtown Toronto, which is not a cheap place to live, and you are full time doing the work you're enjoying, right, you are enjoying what you've created for yourself and I think it's amazing how far you've come in such a short amount of time. I work with youth and young adults all the time, so I see how amazing they are. Not everyone can see that, right, not everyone understands the power of today's not that I'm saying I'm old, but the younger generation and how it can be a different mentality when it comes to can be a different mentality when it comes to believing in themselves enough to unplug from the collective consciousness, which is still in a place where it's, you know, do work that can support your lifestyle, whether you enjoy it or not. But hey, there's always the weekends and holidays, just get through. And then there's this different way of being for people who choose. That's not appealing to me whatsoever, and you were always one to say that there's nothing about the status quo that I want to be a part of.

Speaker 1:

Can you share, because some people, a lot of people, was having this conversation? I don't know if I was having this conversation with you because we were speaking a few days ago, or if it was someone else but someone was sharing that. They don't really think that people understand the power of coaching. A lot of people think coaching is like, oh, cheerlead, you're a cheerleader for people. I'm like, okay, that's a very small, if anything, part of coaching, like very minuscule when someone hasn't experienced it. They don't understand the depth of what coaching can do. I have my own coaches so I experienced that as well. Can you share a little bit about when we started, some of the challenges and the goals you had and how you found coaching specifically supported you? Is there any specific examples so people can understand? This is a big part of coaching, yeah.

Speaker 2:

First, my experience was I was going after these big goals. I had a big vision, sharing that with people that I loved and trusted, like family or friends. They don't align with what I'm sharing or they're like telling me maybe down the line, that's a good idea, but maybe not fully supporting. Maybe down the line that's a good idea, but maybe not fully supporting. Or on the same page as I believe that these things are possible. But other people didn to people that I was telling these things that I was going after One time again, people would laugh or they would say are you sure?

Speaker 2:

Maybe that's a good idea, but let's be practical. Let's be smart about it. It's so easy to listen to all these people because you're like, oh, maybe I can't listen. Trust myself. Example of how supportive having a coach is this person that holds your vision and what you're dreaming of and they believe that it's possible. Not only that, but also believing in you. Having someone believe in you will change your life. That's an example. Having someone actually believe in you not just like phony believe in you, but like actually believe in you and see that's possible, what you're wanting and having someone in your life supporting you and believing you is just huge, because there's so many people around you that will not, with the best of intentions, because they don't think it's possible for themselves. How could it be possible for someone else? Right, that was a huge part of it.

Speaker 2:

Another big part that stood out for me was, up until that point, I had a set way of believing or perceiving the world. I think you mentioned we all grow up with this programming and way of viewing life, and life is this way and we see it as this is the path we have to take. This is how life is, this is the path we have to take. This is how life is, and when we started to work together and I shared what I was struggling with, or thoughts or beliefs that were coming up, you helped me completely shift my beliefs, which completely changed my life, because it is so true If you believe something, then it will be a reality, like it'll be true for you. And so you teaching me that I can believe whatever I want to believe and helped me actually change the beliefs, like not even just changing the way I thought, but I actually started to feel and live by those beliefs A big one at the time. I was so young and people think you're too young to do those things or to run a business or you haven't graduated university yet. I was defying what's normal at my age and the time and place I was in life and you really helped me see well, like you can do these things and change how I saw myself and what I was capable of. It's so hard to explain how powerful that is and I'm going to give a good example of it as well.

Speaker 2:

We did a lot of. We had our sessions, which were incredible, and then we also had power work after. At the time I was in university, I worked a part-time job and I had some time before my part-time job and I was doing the power work in a Starbucks and the power work was around my belief center on money, and at the time yeah, I remember at the time I was like, oh, like I can't make that much money. There was a cap on how much I can make, which was hard, because one of my dreams was living on my own, which costs a certain amount of money to do that, and I was like I don't know how I would ever do that. So we were working on the police around money and I was doing the work in the Starbucks.

Speaker 2:

It took me two years after living here, but that Starbucks I was doing that power work at. I live across from now, living on my own, I'm sorry, and it took me years. I've been living here for probably a year or two and that was the Starbucks, the seat. I was at the Starbucks doing that power work. I was facing the building. How crazy is that? That's a really strong example. Yes, yeah, that just gives me shivers because I had no idea. And there I was years ago, dreaming, wanting so badly to have money to live on my own. I was doing the work around, changing my beliefs around, that was possible and that I can make more money, like there's no limit to the money I could make.

Speaker 1:

I love that story because it's such a powerful story of creating the life you want, whether you call it manifestation, if you're more practical, and it's really just aligning your vision to your actions, to your beliefs, and showing up every day in that new energy, which you did, and you aligned those two and those two came together and now that's the life that you're living. When you set that vision, when you did that work in the Starbucks, were you surprised at how fast you were able to move into that vision? What was your initial thoughts on when do I think that this is going to be my reality?

Speaker 2:

I will be honest, I didn't know when it was going to happen. The big part of my journey was it's funny because it feels so warped but COVID happened as well, which was a challenge. Within that too, there was a contrast of self-doubt that comes in, but also because we were doing the work around my beliefs and believing in myself. At some point it was the belief in myself and what I believed to be true, and then my doubt and old beliefs slowly going down and my beliefs and what I believed in kept going up. I think my actions reflected that. I was like, even if COVID happened, and like there's so many parts of my journey where I wasn't sure I knew that it was going to happen, but there were so many things physically going on outside of me and people looking in would be like, yeah, there's no way you're moving out on your own and there was obstacles, but because I kept believing and I was set on that, I made it happen and I guess that's the best way to explain it.

Speaker 2:

Of course there's self-doubt. The self-doubt just slowly gets a bit quieter and slowly starts to disappear and then, if it does come up, I have these strong beliefs now that are the foundation of how I live my life, that even if self-doubt comes up, it's very quick for me to work through it. I had that experience this week. I was having a really hard time for a couple of days and then quickly I bounced back, and that's how I'm experiencing life lately.

Speaker 2:

There's things that come up like the self-doubt or resistance to something, and I have the tools to work through it and to come back to my power and my worth and what I believe in, and I don't know if this is something we developed together or something that just started to grow inside me, but this belief that everything is working out better than I could ever imagine I think I mentioned that to you you can't tell me that's not true, it's just my truth. It's like an unshakable belief and it's also physically like so many facts, like proof of my life that proves that belief is true for me.

Speaker 2:

And it's a powerful belief that really helps guide me.

Speaker 1:

What would you say to people who, when we talk about beliefs, there are individuals who understand the power of what that means, and it's often people who have done their own work on beliefs. There's also, in our collective consciousness, the belief system that it's all about action and taking action, and I believe action is important. Action is a huge part of creating your vision, but if we don't have the beliefs, we don't have anything. We don't have any foundation for the action to hold It'll just crumble to hold, it'll just crumble.

Speaker 1:

What would you say to people that are in the space where maybe they've been trying to help themselves, they've been taking the actions and they understand beliefs, but they don't really grasp the power of it? What would you tell them about belief, work, shifting your beliefs and just how foundational it is? Would you give them any kind of? What would you say to a person if they were in front of you?

Speaker 2:

Beliefs is to me, when I think about it, it's more than just self-talk. I think people understand self-talk. It's like negative self-talk, positive self-talk, it's like negative self-talk, positive self-talk. Beliefs are something that you feel deep inside of you. It's like a conviction you feel inside of you and it's almost like factual and it feels real for you and I think that's when you know a belief is stuck is when you feel it At the beginning.

Speaker 2:

When you're practicing beliefs and changing your beliefs, it can be hard and a little scary because you used to think one way or believe these really strong things for so long. It can feel really scary to believe new things that maybe contradict what other people believe. It doesn't feel familiar. I remember that feeling coming up a lot. It can also feel scary to believe different things than people that were so close to me. That was a big thing that was coming up because I started to think, oh, maybe my beliefs aren't valid or based in reality, or their beliefs are better than mine, or maybe I should just believe what everyone else close to me is believing.

Speaker 2:

But what was really powerful for me to continue down the path of changing my beliefs was looking at people in my life and seeing how they were living their lives and seeing how they were feeling. A lot of people I saw around me seemed unhappy or complaining about the life they were living the career, the career. And it was really clear to me that if I want to live a different life, if I want to feel happy, if I wanted to change my internal world and achieve my dreams, I can't just believe what everyone else is believing, because I will just go down the same path. And so, as scary as it was to believe something different, it's what changed my life, to be able to explore a different path for myself, and I think that's a really powerful way to think about it is looking at other people and what they believe and looking at the life that they lead and how they feel and asking yourself is that the life I want to live? I think that was really helpful for me was seeing as much as this is scary.

Speaker 1:

If.

Speaker 2:

I start to believe and change the way I believe and see the world, change beliefs about myself, change beliefs around what's possible for me, then I will be able to achieve the things that I want. And yeah, so I would say to someone starting on their journey who has been doing it, it feels like it's not working. Because that can feel like it too. Like you're doing all this work. It feels heavy sometimes and that's where I'd say have a coach, because then you don't feel alone in it and they can teach you tools to work through it. Because there were so many moments where I was coming up to these beliefs that were feeling scary and I could talk to you about it in the moment or the next week at our session and you'd help me work through it so quickly. It wasn't like I had to spend months on it trying to figure out myself. We were able to work through it together.

Speaker 2:

You're going to come up on a lot of resistance. It's going to feel scary and unfamiliar. You may feel alone because other people may not be going down the same path as you. They may be leading different lives and believing different things, so it can feel really isolating and scary at times. I remember this feeling.

Speaker 2:

I really wanted the comfort of belonging. I really wanted to just go back to it. I'm like, okay, maybe I'll just go back to my life of struggling mentally, having low self-esteem. I was like I'll just go back to my life because it's just feeling scary. But I am so glad I did not.

Speaker 2:

And something that sticks out to me is, if you go back to these, that life you're living, you feel like you belong, but you're really just suppressing your beliefs and who you truly are, which is really painful. So you're not actually belonging, which is something you taught me, and you owe it to yourself to really explore what you want out of life. If your soul and you're feeling guided towards something, whether it's a spiritual thing or the curiosity that excites you, you owe it to yourself to explore it and to be able to live a life where you're expressing yourself. And I think a part of expressing yourself is taking action and doing things that maybe other people aren't doing, because that is self-expression, and if we were all expressing ourselves, we'd all be doing so many different things, right.

Speaker 2:

Because, we are just inherently, we're all very different and we all are interested in different things. And I'm going off on a tangent here.

Speaker 1:

I love that you segued into the action, because we've talked about how important the foundation work is, that is, the beliefs to the self image, how we view ourselves, that is, working through what we believe is even possible, at the core of any transformation, if we don't believe it's possible, even if we're more established and setting higher, bolder goals and we don't believe those are possible. Grow happens at all stages. We grow and then we hit a ceiling and then we got to go back to those foundations again and do the work again. Oh, okay, what are my beliefs? Shifting the beliefs, getting into a place of knowing that, yes, I can create my life. But then comes the action.

Speaker 1:

And this is where a lot of people in personal development fields will drop the ball. Not that the belief and the foundational inner work is easy, because it's not, but we can get lost in that and this is what I see with a lot of people who just continue to be healing and growing but nothing actually changes in their reality. They may feel different, but nothing actually changes in their reality, whereas you have had a rapid shift in not only your inner world but also your external world because you've taken bold actions. Can you take me through a little bit about how coaching has supported you to take those bold actions.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I can hear your voice in my head of, like our fast session. There are so many moments I think what was coming up is feeling ready to take the action. I started to think I need to heal these things. I started thinking of healing and all these things as perfection, perfection tendencies come in. You're like I need to work on this more. I need to perfect how I feel about myself. I need to perfect this before I take action.

Speaker 2:

You helped me see that I can take action, even if I may still feel insecure about something or I don't fully feel confident in something. And you not only helped me at the inner work, you helped me set plans to like actually take the action. I remember we would talk about the first step Okay, what are the steps? Yes, we're going to start taking action, but what's the steps? What are we going to actually do? That was huge for me because not only it kept me accountable but also helped me create a plan. I think we start relying on this healing phenomenon and we think, okay, I have to heal everything before I start taking action.

Speaker 2:

But a big part of achieving what you want, and also a big part of the inner work, is showing yourself what you're believing, like, proving to yourself through your actions and practicing what you believe to be true, and you start to gain more confidence in yourself and you start to see proof in your reality of, oh, what I believe I'm seeing proof of because I'm taking action. And don't get me wrong when you take action, you may fall on your butt, you may fail, you may feel silly, which I felt so many times, but more times than not, the result was I was proving to myself the beliefs I was starting to believe are true and also I was helping myself see that my biggest fears because there's so many fears that come up my biggest fears I didn't have to be scared of, right, it's like a big part of work. We have these big goals. We're scared, we're like what are people going to think? What's going to happen? Everyone's going to be looking at me. You have all these big fears.

Speaker 2:

So part of taking action, which you helped me take, was I was able to see to myself myself like those fears aren't even true. And even some fears did come true. One of them, of people are talking about me. I remember one time, because I start posting on social media, someone replied to my story and they were making fun of me, but they meant to send it to someone else. So some of my fears did happen. But I experienced it and I was like, oh, I don't even care, I'm just so happy that I'm taking action and living a life that makes me happy and pursuing a life that I've dreamed of. So it's really neat.

Speaker 2:

When you start to take action you're like, oh, okay, you're proving to your beliefs that they're true. There's evidence for these new beliefs. And then also you're working through those fears. Whether your fear actually happens, you're facing your fear or you're showing yourself the things you're so scared of don't even happen. So the action piece is huge and you really helped me stay accountable, taking the action and then creating a plan of how to take the action.

Speaker 2:

And then anytime I was like, okay, I'm taking the action but I'm not sure what next, or this kind of came up when I took the action. You'd always help me work through it and find a next step. There was always a next step. There was never a dead end, and I think so easily if you're doing it on your own, you can easily come across what feels like dead ends, because you may not see things that your coach may see, you still have the ability to see what's possible. That's really helpful If you're doing it by yourself. Sometimes you really do feel like you come across dead ends, but those dead ends aren't actually dead ends. Sometimes it takes someone else viewing what you're going through to help you see where the next step is.

Speaker 1:

Totally, and we have blind spots. Human beings, that's a good word for it. Yeah, blind spots we can't see, especially when we're so in something it just feels. So boxed in A new perspective is priceless. Talking about that, I want to go into it and, mind you, you may not remember everything, because we worked together in I don't even know 2017 or something. A lot of the work that I do is intuitive. We had a lot of our time together. Was the tactical, the frameworks that work, taking you through the frameworks, like shifting your beliefs that's one of my frameworks like building your vision, the strategy, which is the action piece, and then there's the intuitive work. So the intuitive work was bringing in the information from the guides, allowing that information to flow, because they give me a perspective that I can't see. They go very deep into the world of you. If you remember parts of that intuitive work that came in, I'd love for you to share the benefit of that.

Speaker 2:

Yes, oh my gosh, there's so many parts of our work together. That was huge. That was so refreshing. For years I wasn't feeling connected to spirituality and when we connected, that's something you brought into the picture that just resonated with me so much. It was a part of myself that I felt was a bit suppressed, but I knew was there. It was really helpful. When we started to work together, there was this crazy thing that kept happening where and before this, I wasn't into angel numbers, I didn't know anything about that.

Speaker 2:

And when we started working together, it was so insanely funny the angel numbers and I was like why do I keep seeing all these numbers? It was crazy. So that was really funny, but that perspective was really helpful. I remember it very clearly though, like that, coming up in every session and really having that a part of what we're doing really helped me a lot, like it really resonated with me because I feel this sense of spirituality within myself, of a deeper connection to something bigger than me, and so having that confirmation and hearing the intuitive messages that were coming through really kept me going in so many ways.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes you can get so stuck in the reality we're in. I was living with roommates and things weren't always happy and positive and I was feeling the heaviness of reality. Having these sessions and the spiritual, intuitive aspect really kept me going and gave me confirmation when I really needed it and helped affirm the path I was on and helped give me guidance in ways that maybe the beliefs were more tactical things. It really helped me a lot emotionally. It helped me feel connected to a deeper purpose, to what I was doing as well, because I think that's a big part of being able to keep going is having this deeper purpose within you and feeling supported. Even when you weren't there, you helped bring up me, working with my guides and developing this relationship with the spiritual aspect. After our sessions, I started to experience the support in my life of not feeling alone and feeling really supported in what I was doing.

Speaker 2:

It really did help me when we weren't in session. It really stuck with me and helped me through tough moments At the time when we were working together. I was working through a lot of anxiety. It was really heavy on me, the anxiety I was experiencing and the spiritual aspect and learning about spirit guides that helped me so much with my anxiety. I remember that very clearly. That was one of my favorite parts.

Speaker 2:

I don't know, did we do it at the end of sessions, at the beginning? I don't know. I can't remember if it was the beginning or the end, but I always looked forward to it because it helped confirm things. It helped answer questions I had or if I wasn't sure about a next step or if my next step was in alignment with what I really wanted. It really was a helpful tool with making decisions and making sure they are in alignment with me. It helps pause things a bit because I think when you're so ambitious, you're like, okay, go achieve. And sometimes you don't pause and be like. You're like, okay, go achieve. And sometimes you don't pause and be like is this an alignment with me? Yeah, that's a nice goal to achieve. But is this something really tuning in, if it felt in alignment for me and true for me, and then making a decision from that place? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I love that and for those listening, I'll explain a little, because people listening might be like what are you guys talking about? So, the way that I structure the sessions when I do one-on-one work, you'll probably remember this. When I start talking, ashley, I have clients fill out a session prep form. This form goes through certain questions. Part of that is what are the challenges you faced during the past week? We'll talk about the wins, the challenges, and then what's one specific thing you want to get out of our next session?

Speaker 1:

With my coaching experience, I can go through that sheet all right, and this is what I do before our session. I will answer those questions from my own coaching experience, from the frameworks, from what I've seen work hasn't worked, and I will come up with my answers. Then I always tune into the guides and the guides give a completely different perspective. They often go much deeper, into certain nitty gritty pieces that I can't see. I need them to come in and bring that perspective. They will give me a whole lot of information on if there's a challenge, what's the root of that challenge, what is the path of least resistance? Sometimes it's similar to, or the same as what I've jotted down. Sometimes it's a completely different path.

Speaker 1:

And then we go into all that work. When Ashley was sharing At the beginning of the session, we see what resonates, we have that information and then throughout the session that information is also flowing through. I personally, in my own life, only work with coaches that are also psychic, intuitive, because it brings such a depth to the work. It brings another dynamic to this transformation. Has that been a similar experience for you? It sounds like you really enjoyed that part I did.

Speaker 2:

I really did. It planted the seed and helped develop something inside of me that I carried on after we stopped working together. It was such a big part of me now and it's so helpful when sometimes you don't have the answers in front of you, right? I was able to develop the skill of tapping into my intuition or tuning into my guides and being like this isn't really making sense to me or I'm not sure what's happening, what's this resistance or I just need some sort of guidance, right, and it's helped me so much and, yeah, it really has helped me so much because the tools you taught me that's a big part of it, and I think it's really helpful in those moments when you're feeling very lost or unsure and you just need some guidance. It really helps confirm feelings you maybe already were feeling. If you're deciding between one or two things, it helps confirm what you were thinking.

Speaker 2:

I think it's just a really powerful tool and I'm so grateful for it. I wasn't even expecting it. I didn't even know it was a part of your coaching. It's been such a beautiful gift and tool. I've learned and I absolutely loved it.

Speaker 1:

It is a little bit of a surprise for some people and a huge bonus. This is why, when people come to me, they often say I don't know, your website popped out of nowhere, I just booked a call and it feels like it's meant to be, because it is meant to be. These things are synchronistic. When you tap into the flow of life, you release resistance, you release the beliefs that are holding you back and you step into your natural state. It's not like we're becoming something. We just release everything that holds us back. You come into this flow and this energy force that has the guidance. Everyone can do it right. Everyone can tap into that that has the guidance. Everyone can do it right. Everyone can tap into that that has guidance. And the more you can release like you did, ashley, all the fears not all the fears, because there's still fears. Right, we still have fears, but we don't let it control us and you just move forward, step-by-step towards your vision.

Speaker 1:

It's only in hindsight, when we look back and we see, oh my God, how far we've just so incredible. So, Ash, let's tell if there's someone on the fence saying you know what this all sounds great. I have a vision and I want this extraordinary life of impact, abundance, prosperity, love, success, whatever is in the vision. I know I need help because I've been trying to do this on my own and it's been three months, six months, three years, six years, et cetera, and I'm not really making much change here. But I'm a little cautious, a little worried. I'm a little unsure about coaching. I'm unsure about investing. Investing is always a part of what holds a lot of people back. Would you share with someone that's on the fence, based on our work together, based on what you've been able to achieve, how far you've been able to go? What would you share with a person that may be a little on the fence?

Speaker 2:

The first thing that comes to mind is to trust yourself, which is not a muscle. We practice all the time. We always look for other people to confirm this is the right decision practice all the time. We always look for other people to confirm this is the right decision. And so the first thing that comes to mind is to trust yourself, to trust your intuition, trust that what you have on your heart to achieve the life you want to live, that vision you have for yourself. Trust in it. Practice the muscle of trusting yourself.

Speaker 2:

Thinking back to when I made the decision, if I did not make the decision to start that work back then I likely wouldn't be living on my own, working full-time in my business and being on a podcast. Right now, I may still be working at a job that is draining me emotionally. I may still be struggling mentally. I may still be in toxic relationships. My life couldn't have been so different if I had not gotten that support from you, because it was the foundation for changing my life. My life is completely different in such a beautiful way.

Speaker 2:

I would say if you're okay with your life being the same way it is now for five years down the road, then don't make the decision, wait on it. But if you're not okay with your life staying the way it is five years from now, then trust yourself and make a decision that's going to change your life and change your future Because, despite what other people tell you, your dreams don't have to happen 30 years down the line. They can happen within the next five years or within the year. They can happen within the next five years or within the year. You never know. And it's not unless you trust yourself and where you're being guided. If something excites you being guided towards it, trust in that. See what happens. Yes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what would you tell a person? These are the two things that hold a lot of people. It's the fear of it taking a lot of time and it's the fear of investing.

Speaker 2:

What would? You say to those two specific things Maybe I'll start with the investing part, because I feel like my story is funny. Yeah, I was 19,. What was I? 1920. I didn't have money saved. I'm a student, you can make it happen. I remember you told me the price and I was like okay, I really want to do this. I went to the banker because I was going to take out a loan to do it in 1920. Do you remember that?

Speaker 1:

I do, I remember it.

Speaker 2:

And then that banker was like you're crazy. He's looking at me and I was telling him but why would you do this? He was like you can't achieve those things. I remember so clearly.

Speaker 2:

I was like oh whoa, this man telling oh, I'm gonna figure it out. So, um, I found a way to do it, and there's always a way to make it work. There's endless possibilities. If you want to make it work, you make it work. There's endless possibilities. If you want to make it work, you make it work somehow. Right, and it's just funny to think about me as a student making it work. Make it work somehow. You can too. It's literally an investment in yourself. It's like investing in renovations in your home. It's like investing in your own renovations within yourself. Almost. It may cost a set amount of money up front, but then you're going to live in the home for the rest of your life and you're going to love this home that you're living in the life you're living in I

Speaker 2:

feel like that's a nice way to think about it and I think also beliefs around money, like it's a really beautiful opportunity to change your beliefs around money as well, because it's scary and everyone's in different situations.

Speaker 2:

But when you start investing your money and doing these things, you start changing your beliefs around money and you're able to show yourself and prove to yourself that money is really abundant and it can come out of nowhere. There's endless opportunities to make money and to bring in money. In the process of investing yourself, investing financially you're able to see for yourself that money isn't as scary as we think it is and it's not as limited as we think it is. You're the most valuable thing you can invest in because you're living with yourself the rest of your life. If you don't take time to invest in yourself and learn to love yourself, learn to change these beliefs and to learn all these things to live a life that makes you feel happy and abundant, then you will ultimately stay where you are. You're the best thing to ever invest in because you're with yourself the rest of your life. You're an invaluable investment, right.

Speaker 1:

What would you say to someone who fears it will take a lot of time or effort? They're already feeling worn out. What do you tell them about I?

Speaker 2:

think the first thing like excuses, right, we can always have reasons for not doing something. We can always make time for things that really matter to us. If this really matters to you, you will find time. You will carve out that time when, when you invest in something, you're going to put your energy and time towards that. You can always rearrange your schedule somehow. You can always find time for something and I know easier said than done because some of us live really busy lives but if it really matters to you, you will find time for it. And I think we will always have a million reasons for not doing something. We'll have a million reasons for why we're too busy.

Speaker 2:

It's not until you actually take the time With anything in life. You have to find the time to do it and if it really matters to you, you will find the time. It's like the gym. Everyone says I want to go to the gym, but you just find the time to do it. And it may take hard work, but you're not doing it by yourself and it's nothing close to as hard as if you're trying to do it by yourself. Oh my gosh, it's such a relief to have someone by your side and it really does collapse time.

Speaker 2:

The things I was able to achieve in a shorter period of time is incredible. So in a way, it saves you time If you want to work full time for yourself. It gives you back time in your life, Like the time I have now in my life because I took the time six years ago, or however many years ago, the time I took to allocate to this, to changing my life. Now I have an abundance of time in my life. My lifestyle is incredible now, but if I didn't allocate that time years ago then I may still be working like a nine to five and feeling drained by my busy lifestyle. So it almost gives you back time.

Speaker 1:

That's what has been my experience as well, working with clients and also working with my own coaches. When you have someone supporting you which is typical for my coaches or the clients that we're in one-on-one we move through things so much quicker. We're not figuring anything out on our own, we're not spinning around in the thoughts, we're not doing a whole bunch of things over and getting the same results and wondering what's going on. We're consistently moving forward with that support. So I like how you use the word excuses. It's the excuse. Often it's the unconscious excuse that we actually believe, but it's a distortion and I'm not going to. That's a whole nother episode right there, but it's a ball city.

Speaker 1:

So I love that you are in this place now. You have this incredible lifestyle. I want to talk a little bit about what you're doing now, what you are passionate. I know you're multi-passionate, so you have a lot of things that you enjoy. I'd love for you to share, because you have this ability to invest in things that really light you up. Share what are some of these things that you're doing currently that are lighting you up?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, right now, as my career, my business, I'm doing social media marketing, which I get to work with a lot of different business owners that actually have a big vision for their life. They're trying to do something purposeful with their business. I didn't think I would get into social media marketing. It feels really purposeful and fulfilling because I'm connecting with these business owners that align with my passion for mental health, my passion for well-being. I'm working with these business owners that also want to help people in their own way, and so it's a creative job. I get paid to film videos for brands too, which is something I didn't think I would do. It's funny how I came to this place. Before that, I was posting on social media. I wanted to make money through social media and have a business through marketing myself on social media, and now I got into social media marketing and actually got into this career through surrendering and letting guidance just guide me. When I pursued this business, everything just clicked, like it just started to flow. Client after client came in.

Speaker 2:

I was like, oh, I'm like okay, I'm like okay, I guess this is what I'm supposed to do right now, and it was a lot of hard, but it also flowed in a way that there wasn't much resistance. It just kept working out and I really enjoy what I do because, like I said, I think the big part of it is working with business owners that align with wanting to help people and have a deeper meaning for their business wanting to help people and have a deeper meaning for their business and I don't imagine this is my last business or the last thing I do. I'm also really passionate about mental health and self-love. I constantly am posting about that and see myself formulating a business that supports people with their mental health and self-love. I don't know exactly what that's going to be, but I am taking the action because I deeply believe that I am meant to do that. I know to my core that I'm meant to help people with their mental health and self-love. I have no idea what that looks like career-wise, but I know deep in my bones I'm meant to do that and it's something I feel I've been sharing about for seven years on social media, about my journey and stuff. Nothing ever has clicked where it turned into career, but I still firm. I still stand firm in the belief that is something I'm supposed to talk about and I'm supposed to continue to do, and so I can't wait for five years down the line, maybe a year down the line, when maybe we talk again and see what happens with that. But those are two of the big things I'm up to is my social media marketing, business and building around mental health and self-love. Those are two big things.

Speaker 2:

But honestly, what's been really nice is my career is not the whole focus of my life and for once I'm able to really just live. For so long I was in survival mode and now I'm able to live, and it makes me emotional thinking about that. But I think that's the biggest shift for me, like being able to go see the sunset, which I will do after. This episode makes me so happy and, yeah, it's so funny. These big achievements you want for yourself. The biggest achievement is just feeling deep inner peace within yourself. It's not these extravagant things around you, right, it's just the freedom to live your life the way you want to and to express yourself the way you want to. The biggest things that bring me joy right now is really like a big thing, is going to watch the sunset, singing out loud, listening to music, being able to just do those things? Yes, it's so beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's really beautiful Life on your terms.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, being able to be paid for your gifts, to be able to live your life how you want, to express yourself how you want. Want to not feel restrained or to feel small and take up space in this world and to shine bright yes, incredible.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I love that. Let's wrap it up, because I know you're gonna go see the sunset and I'm looking at the time. It's that early now. What any last words you'd like to share with listeners? And then, after we'll go into where everyone can find you, what's your last words for everyone listening?

Speaker 2:

I think my last words would be and this is a mantra that I developed with myself is to be there for yourself. As much as you have life-changing people in your life, you have people supporting you. You have a lot of things outside of you. I think the most valuable thing you can develop is learning the skill of being there for yourself In those small everyday moments when you're struggling or maybe you're not struggling, maybe you're experiencing joy, being there for yourself to enjoy those moments or to work through those hard moments. If you can learn how to be there for yourself and be there for yourself through everything you go through in life, I think you will just thrive.

Speaker 2:

Always, don't abandon yourself. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Even if you fail, even if you make a mistake, even if you feel silly, even in the happy moments. Really take time to be there for yourself. Don't always look outside of yourself. Going through your journey, you're getting the support. Also, learn how to support yourself and develop relationship with yourself, because it'll take you so far in life and it will make you really happy. When I first started, I didn't feel like I liked myself. Now I laugh all the time with myself. I enjoy going on walks with myself I do all these things by myself bring me a lot of joy. Learn how to be there for yourself. You'll reap so many benefits from that.

Speaker 1:

What would your answers be?

Speaker 2:

There's so many thoughts that come in. I transformed from being scared to live my life, scared to even speak, scared to even breathe too loudly. Now I have become someone that takes up a lot of beautiful space, I feel, in the world. I feel I bring a lot of light to this world. I feel I've transformed into someone who's self-expressed. I feel that expands into other people and helps show other people that they can shine their light too. I transformed from being scared to live to now living almost unapologetically, fully being myself, even if people don't like it. What resonates with me is that I can show other people that they can shine their light to my story. My journey is really going to help a lot of other people that have been in a place that I was in. I've done all of this so that I can also shine light on other people, so that they can shine their light too. I agree.

Speaker 1:

And where can people find you, Ashley?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you can find me my social media marketing business, ashley Approach, on Instagram and if you want to stay tuned to my mental health self-love journey my brand around mental health and self-love you can find me at self-love approach. I mostly post on TikTok, but I also have YouTube as well and I'll be pouring a lot of energy into the very well I already am. I really feel this next year I'm going to pour a lot of energy into this.

Speaker 1:

I love it. I follow you in all of yours. Highly recommend anyone who's having mental health challenges or has in the past, to check out the work that you're doing. That's pretty incredible.

Speaker 2:

Thanks, Lisa, and thank you for being so pivotal on this journey of changing my life. You really were such a big part and you'll continue to be a big part of this beautiful journey. I know I'm on. It feels like I really have made it. I can come through on the other side and I can't wait to see what else is to come. I'm sure you'll continue me through things I want to work through. I always say that it's not that I need to work through, I want to work through. You're on that trajectory.

Speaker 1:

I always say that it's not that I need to work through.

Speaker 2:

I want to work through.

Speaker 1:

You're on that trajectory. It never stops. It's always a choice the growth journey, the expansion journey, Expansion coming to yourself.

Speaker 2:

I love always reiterating that it's never like fixing or changing you. It's always just coming home to yourself.

Speaker 1:

It's releasing everything right it's releasing everything and coming back. We're all whole whole no matter where you are on your journey, where you think you are on your journey. You're whole as it is and this is about releasing. I love it amazing. Thanks for joining us. I'm looking forward to seeing your sunsets the ground. Thank you everyone for joining us. Always, let's stay connected.